When an ex-partner makes repeated threats involving the police, courts, schools, or social services — and especially when those threats frighten the children — it can feel overwhelming and destabilising. It is even more distressing where children are told that their parent may “go to jail” or that they might be taken to another country against the other parent’s wishes.
This article explains, in plain English, how UK family law approaches these situations, what protections may be available, and how to take calm, proportionate steps to protect both yourself and your children.
Understanding the issue or context
What you describe involves several overlapping concerns:
- Threats to report you to authorities without clear justification
- Statements made directly to children that cause fear and distress
- Pressure or intimidation around childcare arrangements
- Threats to remove the children from the UK to live abroad
Individually, some of these behaviours may be dismissed as arguments between separated parents. Taken together — particularly where children are being emotionally affected — they can raise serious welfare concerns.
The central issue under UK law is always the children’s welfare, not one parent’s threats or accusations.
The legal rules or framework
In England and Wales, parental disputes are governed by the Children Act 1989. The court’s overriding consideration is the best interests of the children.
Several legal principles are relevant:
- One parent should not frighten or emotionally harm children by making threats about the other parent
- No parent can remove children from the UK permanently without the other parent’s consent or a court order
- Threats to take children abroad without agreement can be treated very seriously
If a parent attempts to remove children from the UK without consent, this may amount to child abduction, even if the destination is another European country such as Italy.
Where there is a real risk of this happening, the court has the power to intervene quickly.
Practical steps to take
If you are worried about threats, harassment, or the possibility of the children being taken abroad, the following steps can help protect you and them:
- Document everything
Keep a clear record of messages, threats, and statements made to the children, including dates and wording where possible. - Do not respond emotionally to threats
Calm, minimal communication reduces escalation and protects your position. - Consider a Prohibited Steps Order
This is a court order that can prevent a parent from:- Removing children from the UK
- Taking specific actions without your consent
- Acting in ways that place children at risk
- Consider child-focused court orders
The court can make orders regulating contact and communication where behaviour is causing emotional harm. - Seek urgent legal clarity
Fixed-fee family law guidance can help you assess urgency, evidence, and the most appropriate protective steps.
These measures are designed to stabilise the situation and reduce fear, not to punish.
Common pitfalls to avoid
Parents under pressure often make matters worse by:
- Engaging in arguments in front of the children
- Dismissing threats as “just words” when patterns are emerging
- Waiting until an attempted removal occurs
- Assuming authorities will automatically side with the louder parent
Avoiding these pitfalls helps keep the focus on safety and welfare.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can he call the police just because the children stay with their grandfather?
Police usually do not intervene in lawful childcare arrangements unless there is an immediate safeguarding risk.
Is it wrong for him to tell the children I could go to jail?
Statements that frighten children or undermine their emotional security can be taken seriously by the court.
Can he take the children to another country without my consent?
No. Without consent or a court order, this may be unlawful.
What is a Prohibited Steps Order?
It is a court order preventing a parent from taking certain actions, such as removing children from the UK.
Do threats alone justify court action?
Threats combined with distress to children or risk of removal can justify protective steps.
Should I get legal advice now or wait?
Many parents find early clarity helps prevent escalation and protects the children sooner.
Conclusion
If you’d like to understand your rights and options in plain English, visit LegalGuidance.org — a free resource powered by Martin Taggart Legal Consulting.
For professional, fixed-fee advice from a UK solicitor, visit MartinTaggart.com.
This information is general guidance only and not legal advice. For personalised support, please contact Martin Taggart Legal Consulting.